i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
