this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
