haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
