drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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