I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
