There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize