Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
