omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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