I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When are your genitals available?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
