the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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