I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize