So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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