Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize