Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
