but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my shit smells like andre
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
