Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How does it feel to date your dad?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
