careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
