not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
