He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't deserve a penis
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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