shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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