We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
