oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
