As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she smelled like a LAN party
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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