I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
