I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
