I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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