I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
