I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
