i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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