You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize