just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm lost and stupid without you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
