Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
