If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
