You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize