I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
