dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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