So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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