Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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