I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
