You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I need water and some morals
Randomize
