Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize