If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
