Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize