He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
