I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize