i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize