When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
