another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize