so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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