I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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