I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
