its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
