At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
