He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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