I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
