yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
