The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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