i just google imaged poop.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
