the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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