In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
